Recovery Thoughts.

As a form of recovery, I have had to practice self-forgiveness at this time in my life. Prior to the crash, I was feeling that life was working out in a beautiful way that made sense. At that time, I had removed many things that I found harmful. Some were actions, such as alcohol, another was television, others video games, also unhealthy urges. Harmful things sadly come in many forms, I understand, behaviors, thoughts, and interpretations of events can mislead.  

 By ridding myself of these actions, I felt healthy, happy, and whole. Sure, some days were hard, others could be simple. I practiced healthy actions and behaviors. When enacted things started to fall into place. Life felt at this time as if it were an easy street. Desires manifested, excitement was around every corner, love was in the air and stressors were not magnified. I was not walking, I was …...Skipping.  

A helpful action I took on was taking a cold shower in the morning. This gave my body & mind a response that shocked my system. My body would feel alive, pain was abated, and mentality went from tired to awake. This made my day feel possible, as if achievement were implied. The cold in the morning would make me yell and breathe rapidly. Yoga along with many nature walks, improved my mindset. Add some healthy eating and it was a true blessing.  

I am writing this more for myself than for anyone else. So, I can recall what it was that I did to overcome the obstacles. Positive thinking, self-talk and meditation played massive roles in this mentality. Then there was art, having an outlet for creative expression is important. It gave me the ability to communicate with more than just words, some were images, some were creations, sometimes it was how words were written and sung.  

It is a sour taste to have the world flipped upside down when things are going to plan, it is even worse when the ugliness, of injustice, certain situations and actions can make you jaded. I think it healthy to have a jaded reaction in specific situations. What do you take out of such situations that you keep as lessons? Which do you throw away? I knew I could not be afraid of other drivers forever; I had a life to live, but at the same time, I cannot find fault with someone who is too scared to drive due to a comparable situation.  

How does one open their heart to change into a healthier version of themselves without being taken advantage of? I know the answer is that it is different for each of us. I would say, drunk drivers make me nervous, driving at night makes me cautious. In sports and art, you can always analyze what occurred after a win or loss. A person could see where the mistake was made, how it could be improved and restructured. Being injured by a negligent driver, this is difficult to see what I could have done differently.  

Often the answer is (you did it just the right way), yet I wonder what could have been adjusted. I just do not know. There are things that may have reduced the injuries sustained in the crash. Proof of certain road structures has been demonstrated to lessen the dangers of a crash. Barriers, raised medians, and structures reduce injuries sustained & fatalities.  

I now have the power to implement change for a healthier way to drive and live. Therefore, I need to create changes within my environment so I can assist my fellow people. American citizens deserve safe roads. We spend so much money on things that are not as important. For a long time as the world's largest economy, travel and business makes the US economy run. A change is coming, just trying to understand where to start.